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Cat Eye Provides Cheap & Alternate Replacement For Garmin Cadence Sensor (Pedal) Magnet

2008-06-30T16:50:10-04:00

Those who use cadence sensors have probably had their fair share of pedal magnets fall off. Between accidents and just minor wear, I go through 1-2 of my Garmin magnets per year, partly due to how poorly they are designed to attach to the pedal.

I was at Gregg’s Cycle up near the Alderwood Mall (Lynnwood, WA) and noticed a cheap replacement Cat Eye cadence pedal magnet and decided to give it a try. The way it attaches is much more secure than the Garmin magnet and it works perfectly with the Garmin wheel sensor.

You can grab it directly from Cat Eye for less than $2.00 USD (hit that page and search for “169-9766”) or from Gregg’s for just a bit more (but, it’s local if you happen to be in the greater Seattle area).

A Shift In Perspective

2008-06-26T17:22:17-04:00

I have been remiss in blogging but not without excuse. My MacBook Pro took a power dive and was in repair, Liz visited and we’ve had quite a bit going on all around.

Life continues to be challenging, but the counselor Mary & I have been seeing has been extremely helpful and much progress has been made on that front. Daughter #2 could really use some prayer (just pray that He would become the center of her life…can’t get into more details).

God has truly been working in my life as evidenced even today in something that occurred on the way to Thursday Men’s Morning Prayer @ Mars Hill - Wedgwood. Down towards Lake City, it was very apparent that a nasty accident occurred sometime earlier that morning and that the responders needed to use some serious gadgets to rip the roof off of the Volkswagen that has been pretty mangled. There were still tons of response vehicles on the scene and one could easily see what was left of the VW.

My heart sank and my stomach severely churned. I immediately thought of whomever was in there and their friends and family members. The state of the car had to mean some pretty serious injuries, possibly fatalities. Bob 2.0 - without pause, and now communicated without boasting - immediately asked God to be with those who were hurt and their friends and family members. This is solely as a result of His Spirit working and directing my thoughts and actions.

I can tell you what Bob 1.0 would have thought: he would have assessed and analyzed the damage, made some calculations as to the likelihood of the scenario and wondered how long the cleanup had been going on. He would have acknowledged that folks were injured and been thankful that the responders were there. He probably would have also been glad that it was on the other side of the road and that it was not going to impact how he was going to get where he was going. The whole thing would have been objectified and colored through the lens of self.

Caedmon’s Call did a great job with an old Isaac Watts him (re-done by Sandra McCracken) - I Boast No More:

No more, my God, I boast no more
Of all the duties I have done;
I quit the hopes I held before,
To trust the merits of Thy Son

Now, for the loss I bear His name,
What was my gain I count my loss;
My former pride I call my shame,
And nail my glory to His cross.

Yes, and I must and will esteem
All things but loss for Jesus’ sake;
O may my soul be found in Him,
And of His righteousness partake!

The best obedience of my hands
Dares not appear before Thy throne;
But faith can answer Thy demands,
By pleading what my Lord has done.

(Google Book Search has an awesome result for it here. I do despise “here” links…apologies.)

Nothing that has been accomplished over the past few weeks (and prior, but you can understand the time emphasis) and nothing that will occur over the course of the coming weeks, months and years can be attributed to anything I, Mary or the kids have done or are doing. It’s all Him, no matter how the earthly outcomes are interpreted by man.

I have to mention something amazing that God did through @natevw the other week. He has been following our situation on Twitter and via the blog and gifted me The Shadow Of Your Wings: Hymns And Sacred Songs by Fernando Ortega. It’s a wonderful set of scripture set to beautiful, real music along with some classic hymns. It came via Amazon CD vs iTunes digital download, which was perfect since I had no Mac at the time. It was a serious, providential gift that arrived exactly at the time it was needed and has become a part of my daily devotions. As I told Nate, I was blessed and humbled in ways words cannot accurately describe.

(Pressed for time again) One final way some will know that there really is a Bob 2.0 is that I have switched to the ESV translation from the NASB (‘95 update). This is not a small move for me, but it is what Mars Hill has standardized on and has many great features without losing the word-for-word translation (which is what makes the NASB so great as well). Both thinline Bibles are always handy and Apple Blog readers will be seeing it mentioned in an Accordance review “shortly”). If God can get me to use a different translation, He really can do anything :-) [I do have to mention the beautiful typography used in the print version, which is carried over - to some degree - in many of the digital versions.]

Breaking News

Mary starts her new job at Cascadia Community College Monday. Please pray that we all positively adjust to the new schedules that will ensue.<--break-->

Perhaps She'll Wait

2008-06-12T13:39:03-04:00

Managed to actually, finally get to listen to “Big Blue Sky”.

Wow.

This is amazingly on target and really caused an unplanned surge of emotion.

Perhaps She’ll Wait

They say you cannot walk before you crawl
I wonder why, I wonder why
Because everybody dreams before they fall
A wonder world and then we lose it all

But I wil dream of tomorrow
Where the past will not be in my way
Passion lives another day
And I will dream of tomorrow
Where perhaps she’ll wait for me

And every single heart that I have held
In my hands, in my clumsy hands
I fumbled them around until they fell
It’s much safer ground just keeping to myself

But I still dream of tomorrow
Where the past will not be in my way
Passion lives another day
And I still dream of tomorrow
Where perhaps she’ll wait for me
And perhaps she’ll wait for me

The Best Laid Plans

2008-06-11T13:58:31-04:00

Well, I had some time post-4AM and pre-leave-for-work and had been wanting to make it so I could actually eat breakfast at, you know, the breakfast nook in the kitchen.

All of us in the house have a bad habit of just tossing stuff on available horizontal space and leaving it there and this counter is an extremely good target.

I took it upon myself to be the one to clean it up this time and I thought it would be a good surprise for Mary. Well, the kids got up and out without supervision and managed to turn my nice surprise into an lovely AM annoyance for her and my mom. There were two vases, one with a rose and one that Jarrod made (“pen flowers” in dry beans). Because I made the stools accessible and the counter area free to access the items, Ian took the beans and scattered them all over the floor.

Sigh.

We both got a good post-event laugh out of it, tho, and the space is clear now (for how long remains to be seen)…

You Say I Got Trouble

2008-06-11T12:47:54-04:00

(post title is from the opening of a Caedmon’s Call song - “Trouble”)

Faith and patience are difficult items. It’s easy to write about and advise about, but living it with the type of situation I/we are in is a completely different thing. A friend wrote about “shifting sand” (another Cademon’s Call reference) today and it’s amazing how one’s heart can go all over the place, even when there is evidence of God having done great things and real progress being made.

I’ve been a fan of “The Upper Room” since Harvey introduced it to me and while I’ve ignored far more than I have started to consider over the past 10 years, the daily e-mails (along with the devotional materials I use daily) are wonderful. I was having another “shifting sand” morning (despite a good 4AM time) and finally got around to reading today’s e-mail update.

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. -James 1:2-5 (NRSV)

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)

A great deal of damage was done over a great deal of time. It’s supposed to hurt. It’s going to take time. The outcome is (as it always has been) in God’s very capable hands and He will be on the other side of it either way.

Into The Unknown

2008-06-09T13:05:33-04:00

I’m not sure if my previous posts have effectively indicated where things really are. Mary & I are in “try” mode. Restoring trust and love is not a given. It may not happen. This journey is truly into the unknown at this point. I have faith, hope and trust in God to make a way. That does not mean that I am not concerned, sad, confused, and - yes - worried - at times that this will not turn out the way I would like it to.

Make no mistake, I love my wife. I understand what that means now and I am absolutely in love with her. She is also the most beautiful and intriguing woman I have ever met. So, on top of being in love with her I am crazy about her as well. I would and continue to do anything in my power and available with our resources for her.

I covet prayer for the Holy Spirit to reawaken the love she once had for me. All I can do now is live in God’s will, be a real husband and servant to my wife and work on restoring relationships. I pray almost constantly. Everything is in God’s hands at this point (not that it wasn’t before, but you know what I mean).

With God back at His proper place in my life, the lack of reciprocal love from my spouse is not devastating. It hurts and does have an impact on my productivity (I really need to do my extracurricular writing for a whole host of reasons and this situation is killing my concentration…not having a trustworthy Mac has been extra hard as well). My stomach is in knots (off-and-on). My brain understands the trust-in-God “thing”, but my heart just aches at times.

I pray to God to fill Mary & I with the real knowledge and recognition of His presence and to provide all the joy, peace, happiness and love in Christ she deserves. I ask that He send His Holy Spirit to unite us in love…to knit our hearts back together…to restore our family. If I could set part of my consciousness on infinite loop, I would.

My reading and private times give me the sense that this can only happen if I allow Him to make me into the man/person I need to be for Him, for Mary and our children (it isn’t the only thing, though, but many items are not “open source”). I ask God to break, dissolve and disintegrate me every day and to help me rely on Him when I stumble. He must show through every step, every gesture, every action, every word.

Bear in mind that He has already moved a situation that was impossible, dead, defunct, etc. to “try”. He has done many things that I cannot share in a blog post. I never forget the marvelous works He has already performed and am inspired to believe that He can fully restore “us”.

Tori & I are in the process of completing the membership program at Mars Hill and will be kicking up our involvement there soon. While I may still be in “intensive care” mode, I am compelled to do more than Sunday worship, every-other-week community group meeting and weekly Men’s prayer. I must serve. While I/we have needs that are great, the world does not revolve around Mary, I and the kids.

I really have to get back to work, but wanted to share that Psalm 40 (my primary devotional Psalm this week) was just what I needed this morning. I am focused greatly on Psalm 40:1a and asking for His help to enable me to wait patiently for the Lord.

New Baby

2008-06-06T18:04:52-04:00

One Week Later...

2008-06-06T10:59:02-04:00

It’s been seven days since the last post. God has not been idle.

A situation that was all but sealed in stone from a human perspective has been given an opportunity. What I and we do in response to this gift holds the key to where this journey leads.

I started counseling Monday and Mary came with me. I won’t go into details, but, just re-read that sentence. We *both* went. There is now “try” where there was “over”.

Yesterday was the date of our 18th wedding anniversary. Mary & I spent much of the day together (work has been more gracious that words can convey). She is truly a wondrous creation in Christ. Make no mistake, this is a journey we have ahead. (When I prayerfully consider what to blog on this, I receive the distinct impression that this is about as “open source” as I should be on this subject for a while). Just know that God is abundantly good and is most certainly working.

As far as the rest of the family goes, you’ve missed a birthday for Jarrod, a dance performance for Tori and a grooming for Pippin (and something from yesterday which I need to get pictures of before disclosing). I promise to get some things posted this weekend. Time has not been an ally this week and my finger therapy and skitzoid MacBook Pro (it has an electrical short somewhere) have also not contributed positively to the situation.

Please continue to keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers and that God would continue to use His Holy Spirit to heal all of us.

Signs And Wonders

2008-05-30T01:51:41-04:00

I had planned on actually, you know, not focusing on current events tonight. My feet hurt from an ill-conceived walk. My tiny bits of personal finger therapy throughout the day take their emotional toll. And, hey, let’s face it…I’m tired. God’s answer to that was a resounding “rely on Me” tonight.

Jarrod is sick with a throat/stomach thing (and I believe I feel the stomach part coming on…joy) so we took it easy with “our time” tonight and just focused on the things we’ve been looking at the past couple of days (no details…it’s a father-child thing).

Tori helped get Ian ready for bed (*again*…her help is appreciated given our continued physical afflictions) and she, Jarrod & I hung out in Jarrod & Ian’s room until bedtime.

Tori was/is tired. This situation is not easy for her. Going back to the first paragraph, remember that I was going to take it easy on her as well tonight but God would have none of it and gave us the most amazing “our time” together (at least from my perspective). I am grateful beyond conveyance. Again, no details, but real and vitally necessary things were discussed. God really spoke to me through it as well. He truly makes all things happen for a reason. Know that His Will truly is working in ways I could not imagine through this situation. He gave me signs and wonders tonight. I thank Him and praise His Holy Name as I lift my children and Mary up to Him in prayer.

"Kinda"

2008-05-30T01:30:22-04:00

If any readers (there are a few at least) have noticed a musical inclination towards Caedmon’s Call you are not wrong. Mary got me hooked on them and - even in my dark, dark times - I never stopped accumulating their wonderful, inspired works. Their music is a great comfort to me these days, especially since they have a sound basis in reformed theology and base a great number of songs on scripture. (Yeah, the heady words are coming back, too. Just wait, I’ve been hankering for a chance to use the word eschatological in the near future:-)

I was with Ian tonight doing an errand and getting - of course - Jamba Juice. We were playing random music from my iPhone (which is almost exclusively Caedmon’s Call & Bebo Norman at the moment, but there are others).

“Oh Lord Your Love” kicked in:

Oh Lord, I give you all I have,
but it seems so little
when You have given me so much.
I come to you with empty hands
and a heart that’s fragile.
You come to me with a wealth of love

Oh Lord, Your love
is new with every morning.
Your faithfulness:
it gets me through the night.
You bid me come,
You know that I am weary.
Your yoke is easy.
Your burden is light.

And, now, I sing You songs of praise,
but Your Greatness is beyond me.
I know I can not comprehend
how You, Ancient of Days
stoop Yourself to call me
to be Your son,
to be Your friend

Oh Lord, Your love
is new with every morning.
Your faithfulness:
it gets me through the night.
You bid me come,
You know that I am weary.
Your yoke is easy.
Your burden is ligh.t

Despite the fact-checked assurance of truth in Matthew 11:30, my heart & voice were singing (while crying):

Your yoke is easy. (kinda)
Your burden is light. (kinda)

My heart still cannot conceive living without her, and if that truly is the outcome, the fact is God will have some even harder lessons to teach me in order to get me to a place where I can remove the “kinda”.

Cognitively, I know the God-breathed words are true. Feelings, however, are another matter altogether. As I am increasingly becoming a non-fan of such character-building exercises (they hurt! :-), I’m praying about it.

Arterial Upheaval

2008-05-29T17:33:02-04:00

My heart is heavy. Even after an uplifting quiet time and a good, first Men’s Prayer meeting at MHC (I thank God again for leading me there) this morning and a 1:1 with my boss that communicated both understanding of the situation, assurance of assistance but knowledge that life goes on, my heart sank to new depths.

Mary & I were connected. You cannot know what that means if you haven’t experienced it. My heart is now heavy either because it is feeling that loss and needs it or it senses that the walls have closed even further. It could just be an emotional reaction to the situation. Whatever it is, my heart is heavy laden and it will take some time with my Maker today to relieve. I did not expect this journey to be easy. The work that needs to be done in me (and in “us”) could not be accomplished if so.

We are being counseled by one of the kids’ counselors to begin doing things separately with them. This hurts beyond measure (compounding other hurts that are beyond measure). However, it is also nigh unbearable for me when doing “family” things all together, as it is far too easy for me to slip into a false impression that Mary is still my wife. In her mind and fearful heart I am not. There is no “good” situation/option here, only the best of “bad”. The agency is not a Christian one, but the counselor is right. The children must not be confused or given false, human hope.

If there truly is a humanly insurmountable impasse, then this is the right thing to do.

My mind races at times. It frets over not being able to be in her presence to show her how God has changed me and now more opportunities will be removed! How conceited of me that I, the black monster of her nightmares could do anything! The truth is that God doesn’t need me assist Him in whatever way He plans on working in His wonderful creation (Mary).

It hasn’t been that long (though 10 years is a while) that the Word of the Lord does not come back to me when needed. I may require a refresher on references, but I have 10 years of technological advancements to help me with that. Proverbs 3:5-7a says:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;”

Rather than let my heart pine for she whom I love so dearly, I will let the Lord fill me up with His joy, peace, happiness and contentment and trust in Him for the outcome, no matter what that is. I will demonstrate His love and kindness at every opportunity given. I will wait on the Lord and for her to return, but my heart need not be troubled. He will provide either way. (I will still ache)

I do love her, but I am a child of God and He will sustain me. He loves me and I love Him again. My compass is re-centered (GPS is re-calibrated?) on Him.

Blatant Copyright Infringement

2008-05-29T01:32:18-04:00

Tried to do some Objective-C coding in Xcode. Can’t get my mind of the music I’ve got crankin’ in iTunes.

Thy Mercy by Caedmon’s Call

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit’s revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I’ve found.

(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)
Hallelujah
(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)

Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.

Well, Hallelujah
Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
Well, Hallelujah

I Can't Put My Finger On It

2008-05-29T00:48:15-04:00

Hrumph. I don’t have a “health” category. Need to do that.

Well, I guess I actually could put my finger on it now that the pins are out and the cyborg attachment is in pieces (ready for Jarrod to build an army of cyborg robots with).

Alas, no video. Malpractice concerns and all that.

Taking the contraption off…hurt. The last pin came out by twisting and twisting and twisting and twisting. Oh yeah, and pulling.

What hurt worse was the “Hey, you need to go to therapy soon” followed by the immediate curling of the hand into an attempted fist. I came within millimeters of blacking out. This is why men can’t have babies. Ouch. I then get the news that the estimation is now 80% functionality back in that finger. We’ll see about that. :-)

Mary showed me a great deal of kindness and compassion at the doctor’s office today and afterwards. I am more grateful than humans will ever know. I thank God for her. As you can read historically, she is an amazing woman with a gentle and compassionate soul.

I picked up a thinline NASB today. All e-Bibles are kind of annoying (nothing beats The Online Bible on a Mac Plus/SE) and I grow weary of licensing issues.

I hit the MHC 0630 Men’s Prayer for the first time tomorrow. The rest of my day will be difficult. Very difficult. Meetings and explanations for this week. I also have to schedule physical therapy (which is going to seriously hurt for quite a while) and I have more car stuff to deal with as well. All that with the aftermath of the repercussions of my words and actions to deal with. I’ve got lots of Help, tho.

I also start professional counseling Monday and am getting hooked up at MHC. Looking forward to Sunday again both for church and also to celebrate Jarrod’s birthday (he turns 8 on the 31^st). Red Robin and Robin Hood lanes (he’s a mean bowler). Alas, I can’t bowl for quite a while. But he and his friends will have fun. I’ll be sure to post video and pix.

My heart is still. My mind is calm. I give thanks to God.

Abiding Joy

2008-05-28T10:44:25-04:00

I wish I had found this Desiring God blog a while ago. Great entry:

Despite eight years of new life in Christ, my poor, guilty soul still becomes overwhelmingly anxious at times. A dark cloud comes and just sits over my head, not letting any hope from God’s promises or past faithfulness get through and restore my joy.

And it’s my fault. It’s unbelief and sin.

God never intended for me to find my abiding joy in the circumstances of this life—”in this world you will have trouble”—but to hope in him and his salvation (Habakkuk 3:17-19; 1 Peter 1:13).

Nonetheless, I still let outward things determine my inward state, with the result that I have fickle joy, not Paul-like joy—the kind that would lead me to say,

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. (Phillipians 4:12)

So when this unhappy lack of sturdy joy leads me to pray (which it always does, and I thank God!), I don’t want to pray primarily for my circumstances to change. I want to pray first for my unbelieving heart to change.

And then I take more comfort in the Father than ever before:

Return, O faithless sons; I will heal your faithlessness. (Jeremiah 3:22)

And So It Begins

2008-05-28T09:40:36-04:00

While I have been and will be continuing my prayers to God for the restoration of our family and that His Will be done (this does not go against my promise or actions yesterday), the real battle appears to have begun today. I am assaulted when I am humanly defenseless. The enemy knows my weaknesses well, he’s had a great deal of practice and success. The one area God spared me from assault for over a week is now fair game. Sleep is now a battleground.

Psalm 25 continues to be my refuge. Verses 15-21 helped me greatly today:

My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only He will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in You.

I have been waiting for this particular attack. Recently, it was an especially active and wonderful area of our relationship. Now it is a battleground. I did not expect the first salvo to come as I tried to rest. The enemy lost. God is good. Lord, keep me strong in You. I like the NASB translation of “my hope is in You” - “for I wait for You”. I am waiting on the Lord to do great things with this mess I’ve made.

Please pray for the safety & protection of our children, for Mary and for myself.

May God’s Will be done in each of our lives. He has a plan. He will make a way.