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We told Jarrod today. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. Please pray for my son. He turns 8 in 6 days. He cannot possibly understand.

God, we need that miracle. Please restore our hearts. Please restore our family. Please restore our marriage. You can do this.

UPDATE: Mary & I took Tori and Ensign Crusher to see Iron Man. Mary & I continued a very emotional conversation we had prior to telling Jarrod. While I pray that God watch over my words, I know that I let my sadness and desire to be with her show through too much during that pre-conversation. We told Jarrod that his mother and father loves him and that God loves him and that we are not angry with each other.

During the movie, Mary told me she was sorry and I forgave her because I do forgive her. I am the one who did not meet his duty under God and the covenant between Mary, I and Jesus. It is my responsibility. I can easily forgive because God has forgive me for the past ten years and more. It does not wipe away the hurt I've caused in others. It does not justify any of my prior actions. But God forgives.

I made it through to just when Tony crashes in the initial, clunky armor suit. I felt God calling me home to Jarrod to be with him. I can't believe we actually had that conversation with him and then went to the movies. I am idiot. I truly am. I ran home (ok, ran & walked) and took Jarrod for a walk. We found a place nearby that is now his refuge. We talked and prayed.

I need to make every moment count now. I pray for a miracle, but if one does not happen I will not be there every day for him/them. Every minute must count.

They just got back and are picking me up to go to dinner. Jarrod & Ian are in bed.

Pray for my children.