"Kinda"

If any readers (there are a few at least) have noticed a musical inclination towards Caedmon’s Call you are not wrong. Mary got me hooked on them and - even in my dark, dark times - I never stopped accumulating their wonderful, inspired works. Their music is a great comfort to me these days, especially since they have a sound basis in reformed theology and base a great number of songs on scripture. (Yeah, the heady words are coming back, too. Just wait, I’ve been hankering for a chance to use the word eschatological in the near future:-)

I was with Ian tonight doing an errand and getting - of course - Jamba Juice. We were playing random music from my iPhone (which is almost exclusively Caedmon’s Call & Bebo Norman at the moment, but there are others).

Oh Lord Your Love” kicked in:

Oh Lord, I give you all I have,
but it seems so little
when You have given me so much.
I come to you with empty hands
and a heart that’s fragile.
You come to me with a wealth of love

Oh Lord, Your love
is new with every morning.
Your faithfulness:
it gets me through the night.
You bid me come,
You know that I am weary.
Your yoke is easy.
Your burden is light.

And, now, I sing You songs of praise,
but Your Greatness is beyond me.
I know I can not comprehend
how You, Ancient of Days
stoop Yourself to call me
to be Your son,
to be Your friend

Oh Lord, Your love
is new with every morning.
Your faithfulness:
it gets me through the night.
You bid me come,
You know that I am weary.
Your yoke is easy.
Your burden is ligh.t

Despite the fact-checked assurance of truth in Matthew 11:30, my heart & voice were singing (while crying):

Your yoke is easy. (kinda)
Your burden is light. (kinda)

My heart still cannot conceive living without her, and if that truly is the outcome, the fact is God will have some even harder lessons to teach me in order to get me to a place where I can remove the “kinda”.

Cognitively, I know the God-breathed words are true. Feelings, however, are another matter altogether. As I am increasingly becoming a non-fan of such character-building exercises (they hurt! :-), I’m praying about it.


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